The Two Wrongies

Written by Sarah Riddick | 06 August 2011

Clad in sweaty ebullience and a white tutu, the girl onstage is sucking her own toe and licking her own nipple. Get it? It’s shocking!

Too bad it really isn’t at all. Keen as the Two Wrongies may be to live up to their name, all that comes across is a one-dimensional, one-hour long gimmick that somehow manages to render the female form dull and annoying. On paper, the components of the duo’s cabaret may seem to scream ‘success!’ but the man in front of me, looking around the room with boredom and irritation, illustrates the surprising effect of an hour of intensely graphic nudity—little to none. 

Don’t get me wrong here. I have absolute faith that choreographed nude dances with an anti-sexy attitude can be great fun, but this simply isn’t. Ladies, if you’re going to subject me to five minutes of two eternally-sprawling synth notes and your slow-motion gyrating, you better be leading me somewhere other than to another home video of you lunging.
Just when I think the two longies (‘long’ fits this show better far than ‘wrong’) are winning me over with an impeccably-timed taint reveal, they dim the lights, slow the music again and drag a silent, confused audience through what can only be described as the ‘Buzzkill Slow Jam of the Night.’ 

Pacing is just one of the problems. A show with no dialogue, no story, and no discernable message needs to keep energy flowing and building, yet the girls halt their progress every few minutes with videos that feel like poorly-executed ballads on a pop album. The result is a show that feels too slow and too quiet despite its eager efforts to do exactly the opposite.

The Two Wrongies, Assembly George Square, 3-28 August