| 17 August 2010
I should start by saying that the next time I opened my fridge after this show, I spotted an onion and carrot and shut the door quickly, scarred for life and terrified by these innocent vegetables.
Circus of the Vegetable. Hmmm. Okay so there’s a couple of clowns. The scenes that flash before me, the ones I’ve tried to block out, involve a girl clown shoving carrot after carrot into boy clown’s mouth while he pretends to be the ‘horse of Spain’ and spitting chunks of orange back on to the stage and into the audience; she also crazily beats the ‘horse’ with lettuce and leeks until they’re torn and shredded all over the stage.
Another flashback reveals an onion striptease, which he promised we’d find ‘most a-peel-ing’. I loved the pun but the rest, weird. Funny? In a slightly terrifying and confusing way, yes. In that sense, there was much laughter.
Now I’m sensing something else - oh yes - there was the bit where she was hypnotised by the radish. ‘How ‘bout that?’, they ask. It’s all they say basically throughout the entire show, which was, I admit, pretty cute. Oh yes, the radish - she is made to believe she’s a mouse or a rodent of some sort from Poland, and then furiously eats the radish, leaving her face gooey, wet and red-tinted. A bit of the red of some peppers/pretend knives also later regurgitate out of boy clown’s mouth, and onto the stage. Delicious.
Basically two people spend an hour playing strange, bizarre games with vegetables; the audience stare aghast at the scene while praying that they’ll be spared from flying chewed-up foodstuff.
I have managed to muster up one star because one person did actually get it, and yelled ‘Bravo’, so good for her. I also respect that I will have this story to tell for ages to come; I only hope the fear of carrots will subside sooner rather than later.
Gilded Balloon Teviot, 4-30 Aug (not 16), 2.30pm
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